Centennial Park: and story of my guilt trips

The summer last year, I left my beautiful, lake facing apartment to move to a cheaper and smaller place in a less remote location. As I was hunting for apartments, I was delighted to see that Puget Sound is so close by! On top of that Mount Rainier is visible with all its glory! I loved the location of Lower Queen Anne and soon zeroed in an apartment. Although it is not very glamorous, I love that it is small enough for my needs, and in a safe location, plus apartment management is also friendly and genuine. And, I live close to waters!

But after I moved in, I confess I am not visiting the waters, the beach, and the park that often. Sometimes, in the weekends I have to guilt trip myself to go there. Once I reach there, I ask myself, "Why on earth don't you come here everyday?" But the pattern repeats. I stay back thinking I have to accomplish a lot, I have a lot of responsibility, only to waste time in stupid activities. The guilt trip and beating up is sometimes too much to take. I wish that whole chatter just stopped and I could seamlessly take in the view like all those joggers in the park. Funnily, all these sketches are an attempt to force myself out of my shell to go there and provide myself a nice time.

Sunset, Olympic Mountains, and Puget Sound from Centennial Park

This painting captivates the after-sunset glow of the sky, with Olympic mountains and Puget Sound taking darker tones, as the western sky kept changing one vivid palette to another. I am not sure if it was a week day or a week end, but I was determined to just go and sit there. As I sketched this, it became pretty dark, and I remember sitting on the rocks, with my flashlight on, and trying to hold on to the flying papers, and trying to finish my painting soon, while shivering in the increasingly cold wind. I felt proud with a sense of adventure, and told to myself that "I should come here more often. The time spent here is totally worth it. I must invest in this in order to rejuvenate myself."

.... Only to procrastinate until my next sketch. My frequency of visits to the park increased definitely. I remember going there in cold nights and watching the breathtaking night view, and telling myself that I should come and paint the night view. But that did not happen until the next spring. Mount Rainier was basking on the southern horizon with all its glory. I feel, this is a better view than Kerry Park. The sky was a delicate satin of pink, blue and purple. The mount was simmering with golden and silvery light. It was a beautiful evening with gentle cool breeze brushing against my face. Those few minutes of painting were of pure peace. I decided to visit more often, and my frequency increased especially since it was summer. But I still hesitated to sketch. 

I started visiting the waters, and spent more time playing with the waves, and listening to them, everytime exclaiming to myself, "Why don't I come here more often?"  I would see a distant view of the lake, and western sky while walking from work, and debate, "I should probably go take a walk. Nah... I am too hungry, I need to cook and eat first. Nah... there is too much work and too many deadlines, I need to sleep early tonight."  I would miss many beautiful opportunities of sketching thinking "I am busy, may be another time." One day, I myself was frustrated enough with the annoying inner monologue to put my sketchbook and a set of pencil colors in my bag. The following sketch  was of a beautiful, worth framing scene. The colors definitely did not do justice to the beauty of the scene. I forced myself, "Just do it, even though it does not look pretty". And here you go...

 

I remember deciding to walking out of my apartment after staying indoors for long time. I decided to explore the way south, and walk up to Belltown. It was a nice walk, with many beautiful views, full of people enjoying the summer evening. But my heart was not there. I was constantly struggling between wanting to enjoy the moment, and worrying about issues at work. On my way back, I saw this gorgeous view. Although it was getting dark, I had to sketch this one. My inner critic kind of scolded me. "Sketch it! You lazy fellow!". And I obeyed, and sat down to sketch. Sketching the tree was difficult and boring. So I hastened, to avoid the boredom. Still, I liked the way it turned out, although I think it looks better on paper. 

My frequency of visit to the park has increased slowly, although not to a satisfying level. Every time I visit there and see the vista of the lake, the mountains, the vast sky, the green grass,  and the Mount Rainier basking in all its glory as if watching over the city and guarding it from all the trouble, I remind myself. "I am so lucky to live so close to such magnificent beauty."  And I realize what Manoj Das meant when he spoke how being with nature makes you want to bow down with gratefulness in contrast to man-made things which make you want to possess ("Himalayara Himachhaya tale Masoori" in his book Antaranga Bharata).